I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
