We won't sleep together?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
