butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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