Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
