ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize
