he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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