Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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