It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
