Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

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(704): View more from North Carolina

the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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(319): View more from Iowa

Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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(310): View more from California

If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done

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