there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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