who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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