the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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