I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
