I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
