Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
