He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
