i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
