I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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