Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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