he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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