i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
