Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
