I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
