This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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