I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
