Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
