C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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