So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
