absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
