So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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