ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
