He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
