He is an equal opportunity slut.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
