you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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