I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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