idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize