Having a random hookup so left but love u
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize