those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
