and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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