I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
