its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
