im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
