Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
