Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize