He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
They have beer where we have blood.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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