Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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