my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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