That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
