He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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