oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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