i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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