so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
