so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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