True but thats because hes a fetus.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
