Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
