So drunk its hurt
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
