i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
