There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
