my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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