I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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