Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
