So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
