he puts the penis in happiness.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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