Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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