I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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