Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
