Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
