we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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