I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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