His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You are the jesus of drinking
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
