they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Found your dick twin last night
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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