Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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