real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
