Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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