I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize