You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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