ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize