we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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