She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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