My friends, they love my intelligence
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize