I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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