ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
