gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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